When should I Crush her Early Childhood Crush?

I think this is getting a bit ridiculous. Please someone correct me if my assumptions are way off, but I thought the obsession over boys or a boy in particular might not happen until her early teen years.  It’s happening now in preschool!

I always assumed that with our advancing modernity we could expect our kids to experiment with drugs earlier. However, the trend is actually going the opposite direction according to recent annual reports by the NIH – which shows kids are waiting longer to experiment with hard drugs and protecting their little underdeveloped brains to focus more clearly on boy obsession!!!!???!! I’m having a hard time deciding whether I’d prefer she started on bath salts earlier.

Pretty hard to find more damning evidence of mainstream culture encouraging underage marriage than Bratz! These girls are supposed to be teenagers!! All rights reserved by MsWatermelon813

Pretty hard to find more damning evidence of mainstream culture encouraging underage marriage than Bratz! These girls are supposed to be teenagers!! All rights reserved by MsWatermelon813

She’s having dreams about him. Recently, AT woke up panicked and crying in the middle of the night. No biggie, she has the occasional nightmare and needs some comforting before falling back asleep. It’s a pretty easy process by which I ask her to explain the nightmare and in the middle of doing that, she generally trails back off to sleep. This time however, the nightmare involved TB moving away therefore he was, “not going to marry me.” She is utterly convinced that they will be married someday and confirms that he feels the same way. She did want to be either a princess or a “married girl” for Halloween this year and I didn’t probe her as to why she might want to be a “married girl”. I know.

She makes up songs about him. Her favorite recently was more operatic in nature and really quite good. The story is of AT, the boy (TB), and another girl in their class and it’s a game of eeny-meeny-miney-moe where TB is determining which of the 2 girls he will deign worthy of marrying. In the opening act he lands on the other girl, and AT really shows her dramatic range (while playing all 3 characters mind you) of utter despair and disappointment. Then in the second act TB decides to run through eeny-meeny-miney-moe again, because his first choice is not his “favorite” and lo and behold, he lands on AT, making her the winner of marriage! Oh the range comes out again as she oscillates to extreme joy! She can’t wait for their wedding.

She wants everyone to be like him. Recently, she asked me if I knew, “what a Mo-Cawk is?” Now, AT is as prone to the non sequitur as any three-year-old, but I knew what she was getting at, because I had just picked her up and TB was sporting a fresh new Mohawk. I played dumb, saying I did not, and she jumped at the opportunity to show me. “Pssssshffth!!! You don’t even know what a Mo-Cawk is. TB, like¹, obviously has a Mo-cawk. You don’t, like, even know what a Mo-cawk is! But you should get one, like TB!”

This past summer I chaperoned one of AT’s school outings to the Pacific Science Center here in Seattle. It’s full of all kinds of neato science stuff and AT couldn’t have been more bored. It just so happened that as chaperone I was in charge of 1 other kid, and guess who that 1 other kid was? You guessed it, TB! He was so excited about the science and told me all about how much he loved the place and how frequently he’d been and led me around to show me all the cool science stuff. I would have joined him except, a) I don’t get that jazzed about science, and b) it was hard to run to the next exhibit when I was busy picking AT off or dragging her across the floor.

My thought about TB at the time was, here is a really cute and enthusiastic little kid! Little did I know that he had played some sort of macho 3 year old mind trick on my little angel.

I realize I’m being sensationalistic and weird and that most little kids fall neatly into their worst gender stereotypes, but I just want her to be an independent woman at 3 years old. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK??  She doesn’t need the approval of some boy who likes science and has a cool mohawk.

3 thoughts on “When should I Crush her Early Childhood Crush?

  1. This is the cutest thing. Breathe, daddy; she’s going to be ok – and not married to TB. My son was heartsick for little Alison when he was four, and at 17, he can’t remember her name; I’m the one who does.

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