Who Does What In A Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship? Obviously, She Still Does The Cooking and Cleaning, Right?

Approaches to survival and the ability to endure are determined by the realities that each of us face. – PapaGoob (January 25, 2013)

In my case, I had my first child when I was 23. She was conceived when my partner and I were living in a third country (she legally, I illegally). We then moved to her home country, Sweden, but not to her home town. In the following 8 years we had two more children, moved 4 times, I completed one education, then another. And now we are living in Kyiv, Ukraine, as diplomats and untouchables (not in the Indian “untouchable”-sense, but in the above-the-law-sense, I can literally do whatever I want without fear of reprisal or punishment).

Ah... the good old days when there was no "co-parenting" there were clearly defined roles.  Yes, I will have another gin and tonic dear, please put cherry 7up in it, just how I like it!

Ah… the good old days when there was no “co-parenting” there were clearly defined roles. Yes, I will have another gin and tonic dear, please put cherry 7up in it, just how I like it!

These details are not interesting to me (I know that some people think the details of their lives are interesting to themselves, but I am not one of them. Or maybe I am, I do like talking about myself when I have an audience or I don’t know what else to say. But then I always feel guilty afterward. This is my partners fault. She thinks I am a typical loud American male who doesn’t let anyone else get a word in edgewise. I think I am just jovial in certain situations. I digress).

The details are, however, the essence of a life and determine the prerequisites to my relationship to my children. That I was born in California and my wife was born in Western Sweden is also important. We, my partner and I, are the product of two very different parental philosophies. This despite the similarities between my upper-middle class Californian background and her middle class Swedish background.

Yet even if we had grown up in the same town, at the same time, and in the same socio-economic class, my partner and I would still be very different parents.

A generation ago, or maybe two, (or maybe even this is a reality to others of my own generation) this would not be a problem. The women were in charge of the home (including children) and the men were in charge of everything else (excluding children). But now we are all in charge of everything (and sometimes in our rush to have a career too, we let the childcare worker become the most important parent – but that’s another post) and that isn’t without its difficulties. In the end, it is the kids that win the most out of this experiment. I believe my children will have a better chance of being loving, happy, gentle and good adults if I play a positive, active, and equal parenting role, together with my partner. Despite the fact that this is significantly easier with a monarchy rather than a democracy, at home at least. These are my prerequisites and the stuff that my children’s future therapist will pay for their own children’s college education.

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Does Neglecting My Blog Make Me A Terrible Father?

That’s obviously a ridiculous question, of course it does… when the blog in question is www.worldsbestdaddy.org! Not to get all self-aggrandizing on you (mostly because I don’t even know what that term means), but I really feel awful about not contributing anything to this thing in months, just awful. My brother Papa Goob has been slaving away on hyper-relevant parenting posts that can really help young parents navigate the difficult terrain of early parenting. Well, EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME! Some of us have jobs.

The point of WBD is not to show everyone why I’m a better daddy, the accolades and awards do that talking louder than I could ever hope to, but to connect with other parents so they can share their experiences.

Here’s a couple of gratuitous photos of AT acting really cute. Enjoy.

at-hat at-in-santa-cruz

And if you are a parent (mommy’s are great too) and are interested in having 10’s of people read about your amazing tricks and tips so they can be the best parent they can be, please, please submit your story idea to me: jstaylor33@gmail.com (yes, I also have that @lycos.com email address and I’m holding on to it!) – and I will literally gaurantee to put it up – no matter how trite and pointless it is!

Possible Ideas You Might Submit (for, again, gauranteed inclusion):

You: 39 year old grandmother of triplets, you don’t raise them, but you sure could do a better job than that horrible mother of theirs. Tell me and the world about it!

You: 43 year old techie-dad, how you rock at parenting without ever looking up from that device that’s so awesome! Tell us about it!

You: 22 year old doctor, you’ve been a doctor since you were 12 years old, you’re a prodigy, you know a lot about medicine. You were out celebrating a promotion to President of the hospital, and BAM! you met some loser who knocked you up, but again, you know a lot about medicine. Yes, I’m hoping there is a female version of Doogie Howser out there that also has a similar storyline to the protaginist of Knocked Up (I know you’re out there). Share it with the world!

I’m not saying I’m too important to contribute to my own blog, but I am real important.  Thanks for helping, now I’m off to “put out a fire” at work (corporate-speak for problem-solving, though I do volunteer fire fighting on nights and weekends), because I HAVE A JOB and AM REAL IMPORTANT and TALK GOOD.

Thanks!

James

Publisher, Worlds Best Daddy.org