Oh Boy

We found out a couple of weeks ago that your humble-blogger, WBD, will now be the father of a boy. I’d like to say that I wasn’t extra excited about the prospects of teaching this unformed XY chromosomer how to throw a curve ball, but then I remembered that I’d have to learn how to do that myself. For someone that thinks of themselves as a jack of all/master of none, this was going to provide some complexity on the teaching-front.

From a clueless male’s perspective having a little girl is actually quite easy. The bar is set so low that anything I provide seems instantly valuable and useful. When I was solo-parenting it was amazing (and a bit off-putting) how frequently I garnered praise for the most mundane action (WOW, YOU CAN KEEP A CHILD IN A GROCERY CART WITHOUT ACCIDENTALLY RUNNING OVER IT!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU CAN GET A BABY THROUGH THE SECURITY CHECKPOINT AT THE AIRPORT ALL BY YOURSELF!! YOU’RE A HERO!!), while on the flip-side of that, I observed a mom who was juggling toddler twins with a newborn strapped to her chest deftly navigate a post office at Christmas, receive not a word of encouragement or affirmation. Perhaps I looked like someone that needed help, but who is going to help me when there are macho dude things to teach?

I thought I’d endeavor to create a list of my “manspirations” to remind me that I have quite a few “dudes” in my life that can help me teach my unborn child to be masculine (assuming said unborn actually wants this).

DoD:

Dear-ol’-Dad is and always will be a dichotomy; a bookish-intellectual who loves yelling at the TV just as much as the next guy. He taught me about building trellises in the garden, how to throw an elbow playing sports (or catching BART), and the value of being seen and not heard. I didn’t learn that last one very well, but perhaps my little guy will. AT has nicknamed herself “chatter box” so this may be a genetic flaw too great to overcome. “Fortune favors the bold” is something I’ve never actually heard him say, but know that’s what he believes. I’ll pass that bit on.

DoD relaxing in some type of body of water. I inherited the ability to do this really well– and plan to pass it on to my unborn son.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DJ MnBn:

Here is a photo of my brother, another male role model in my family. Despite his appearance, he is a great dad, has a good job as a lawyer at a Swedish agency that helps immigrants settle in Sweden (some even deservedly-so), and a loving family. Because of his appearance, we have nicknamed him DJ MnBn (vowels removed to protect the innocent).

DJ Mn Bn took time away from his busy international DJ lifestyle to take my nephew to a scouting activity. This is both inspirational and a small token of basic parental responsibilities that I too plan to embrace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friends:

This is the group I’m counting on to both teach me and reign me in.  Sammy, you will teach me to build stuff like an addition to our tiny home. Daniel P, you will teach me how to ride a motorcycle and how to best enunciate with my hands. DK, you will teach me some baseball things (and hope that Jr. doesn’t inherit my uncanny ability to get injured). Nate, you will teach me how to fly fish and Eagle Scout level camp. Blanch, you will teach me high finance. The list goes on an on of things my friends will teach me, that I will someday hope to teach my son. Thank  you in advance!

Here’s something that my mom taught me, that I will pay forward.

“Easy as pie” BBQ chicken recipe that is both a little bit country and lotta rock n’ roll:

1) Brine the chicken with a mix of apple juice and salt, 2) put chicken in that brine, 3) let soak for 30+ minutes (more than 2 hours is great), 4) BBQ that chicken, 5) don’t over or under-cook it. Guestimate is hot fire (400 degrees, covered) for 20 minutes. 6) let it rest for at least 10 minutes before cooking it.

Last Night’s BBQ Chicken and Purple Broccolini.

How to be Good, the Inspirational “Velfie”

In this installment of steal-your-dad’s-phone and record an inspirational velfie (video-selfie), AT provides some words of wisdom on how to be good. Give it a listen and do some learning. It’s really not that hard, plus you’ll be a gooder person for it.

Throwback Post: Is My 3-year-old a Gold Digger?

I started writing this post when she was 3 because of her propensity for gender stereotyping herself, but then, like all kids, she transitioned to a new phase and suddenly it felt irrelevant. Now as she has immersed herself in Kindergarten and seemingly become much more well-rounded. She loves sports and has sworn off wearing dresses, and I wanted to remind myself of what she was once like. My little princess.

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Her favorite color is gold or sparkly. I guess I can be happy she didn’t say platinum.

Her favorite type of food could definitely be qualified as “artisan” (read expensive, locally produced and probably grass fed or free range uber-organics).

Her favorite accessory is flashy, albeit currently plastic, jewelry. And lot’s of it.

She wants to be dripping in bling.

The girl likes money.

Photo from when she was 3 illustrates the juxtaposition of the job she wanted (Princess) with the job I was pushing her to want (MD).

Photo from when she was 3 illustrates the juxtaposition of the job she wanted (Princess) with the job I was pushing her to want (MD).

She only deviates from expensive things when it comes to transportation. Her preferred method of transportation is a city bus. She is still a 3 year old after all, and giving up the social interaction and weirdness that occurs on a city bus for more luxurious confines would be a major sacrifice for someone her age.

She did however, really seem to enjoy the private plane ride she took with her mom a couple of weeks ago. In the photo her mom sent me, she looked like she was waiting for the flashbulbs to go off.

If you’ve seen the opening scene La Dolce Vita, the model’s face as she exits the plane is pretty analogous to the face AT was making in the photo. I’d call it subdued beaming, the ultimate oxymoron for the elite, and extremely prideful. Yikes. She looked both thrilled and like it was completely de rigeur.

I’m pretty nervous about this, as I was really planning on her making all the money for our family. The pageant circuit is too slow and arduous. Sending her down to Los Angeles to go on auditions seems too tedious and a long-sighted (never my style). I’m going to have to keep thinking about what I can do to simultaneously create a life for her that is as opulent as she desires, while also teaching her the valuable lesson that she is the one that should be making the money for her old man. It’s a conundrum, for sure.

Rockstar Podcast 10.1 Take 2: Coachella, Barbie Bikes, and Other Insights from a 4 Y.O.

Announcing Podcast #1, Inaugural, First-one-ever: RockStar

Setting for the inaugural RockStar, like a rock star, included many locations and states of facial hair.

Setting for the inaugural RockStar. Like a rock star, included many locations and states of facial hair.

Some might say we’ve gotten to the point of saturation (saturation point, for short) in terms of channels to our fans. We’ve got the website, e-store, chiclet distributorship, garment factory consultancy, t-shirt gun, and on and on. To those people we say, hooey. The next natural iteration for Worlds Best Daddy (DOT O – R – G) is to launch a podcast.

AT decided on the name RockStar last night at dinner. No equivocations. It will be a mix of Ellen and Judge Judy with sprinkle of Telletubby. Please feel free to send us your questions or any subject matter you’d like us to tackle.

Please bare in mind that this is our first shot at this. And we only needed 1 take. So don’t worry if there is a couple (periods) of (20 seconds) of silence, it’s about to pick right back up. It’s good from there. Don’t even think of fast-forwarding. So, voila, enjoy, and you’re welcome! And thanks~ AT & WBD

https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/Rockstar1.mp3?_subject_uid=20128201&w=AADSqt5M0x4bU0I115AE4ZDyBMFoVdxKfKBy4Tgd1GgcIA

When should I Crush her Early Childhood Crush?

I think this is getting a bit ridiculous. Please someone correct me if my assumptions are way off, but I thought the obsession over boys or a boy in particular might not happen until her early teen years.  It’s happening now in preschool!

I always assumed that with our advancing modernity we could expect our kids to experiment with drugs earlier. However, the trend is actually going the opposite direction according to recent annual reports by the NIH – which shows kids are waiting longer to experiment with hard drugs and protecting their little underdeveloped brains to focus more clearly on boy obsession!!!!???!! I’m having a hard time deciding whether I’d prefer she started on bath salts earlier.

Pretty hard to find more damning evidence of mainstream culture encouraging underage marriage than Bratz! These girls are supposed to be teenagers!! All rights reserved by MsWatermelon813

Pretty hard to find more damning evidence of mainstream culture encouraging underage marriage than Bratz! These girls are supposed to be teenagers!! All rights reserved by MsWatermelon813

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Emo-parenting 101: Looking for Parenting/Life Balance

In the end there is not much that separates us from them. We are meant to give to them. We are meant

to be a bottomless source of love to them. But we use them in the same way. We demand of them

bottomless love and at least some service. Service and love. Sounds like a Sunday sermon. But I am

not talking about service to God, or God’s love. I am talking about the future, our children. (A terrifying

thought that something that I produce would be responsible for anything, but hell, why not. I’m pretty

responsible.) I would put emphasis on the bottomless part of the third sentence of this paragraph. Not

that we as parents are tried or that we don’t fail, but the expectation is there, that expectation that our

patience will not end.

Parenting can make us all lose identity, but then they do things like this and you don't care.

Parenting can make us all lose identity, but then they do things like this and you don’t care.

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